To you, this may look like a simple mathematical equation but actually it represents 50 years of my life. You see, I started drinking at the age of 16 and drank for 25 years before it became unbearable. As many times as I told myself to stop, I just turned around and picked up another drink. People who aren’t alcoholics, or who are not cursed with addictive personalities, just don’t get it.
The bright side to this equation is that I now have 25 years of recovery and live my life as a happy self-loving soul.
Fifty years is a long time to spend focused on and around alcohol. To you it may seem like “Oh my God, what a waste”. But to me, it makes perfect sense. You see, we all have a higher purpose in life. Some of us leave this earth and never know what that purpose was. Well, during my recovery, I discovered exactly what my purpose was:
To teach women that they are infinitely more powerful than they believe: that they do indeed have the power to change their lives and create exactly what their heart desires.
It was part of my journey to come to this realization through my experiences and intense struggle of personal transformation. All of a sudden, I knew exactly why I had traveled the path I had been on. My journey gave me ‘in-the-trenches’ education on how women can become emotionally wounded and continue on a path of self-destruction.
In my case, I developed a feeling of being worthless while I was a teenager. The feelings propelled me into a frenzy of blackouts, severe hangovers and dead-end relationships. In 25 years of drinking, I also had a failed marriage to give me the final push off the cliff, where I did a free-fall into the black abyss of complete hopelessness.
Hopelessness is the most devastating state of mind. You live your life thinking “why bother?” Why bother to get up? Why bother to eat, to plan, to dream or to breathe.
Yup, that’s where my journey took me. I don’t regret it because what I have learned from it you can’t find written in the pages of a book. Even when I wrote my own book, I still couldn’t describe fully what I have learned from years of alcoholism and self-condemnation.
But let me try to summarize what I do know. I was born a perfect being, but then life started to influence the emotional fibers of my mind. Other people’s perceptions and words became more important than my own. I tried to live my life being what others expected of me. I just wanted to fit in and be loved.
I have learned that I am an amazing and talented and loving woman created by God, not to suffer, but to live life with passion and purpose. To share what my lessons have taught me so that others will not make the same mistakes I did. To help women reclaim their lives from the emotional chaos they now live in. So many women are secretly suffering and do not know where to turn. I am here to bring them hope, to help them discover a better way – a path of light no matter how far they have gone in the wrong direction.
We all have ‘befores’ and ‘afters’ in our lives. Some are longer than others. Look at your own life. Is there a defining moment that changed your path? I invite you to share a piece of your story. Feel free to do so here or you can post on my Facebook page www.facebook.com/malduanecoach.
By sharing we not only empower ourselves but shed a beam of light on the path of our beloved sisters.
Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.
Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.