How important is Mindset?

Mindset is “a habitual mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations.”

After reading that definition from Webster’s Dictionary, it stopped me in my tracks. I never thought of how important mindset is and it can direct your life.

Mindset is not some diddly little attitude you walk around with. In fact it is the lens you look at life with. Your own personal filtering system on how you will play the game of life.

I consider myself as someone who has a very positive attitude, always looking at the glass half full. But honestly, I have never delved into consciously studying how I respond to situations. Not until now.

I am a very strong believer that you are not meant to walk this journey of life and personal awakening alone. I am completely transparent about my 25 years of addiction and 26 years of recovery. Did I do this alone? Hell no!

At different stages of personal discovery, I sought out coaches that were proficient in taking me to the next level and mentors that would inspire me to open my mind to endless new possibilities. Without the help of these glorious souls who contributed greatly to my development, I would not be the woman I am today. I have become masterful in so many areas of my life and I now teach other woman to do the same.

Women are meant to live passionate and purposeful lives. Once you have the lessons, the strategy for mastering the game of life, you become a powerful creator in your life. You realize you are deserving of all your desires.

I am off to participate in a Mindset Retreat with the acclaimed Fabienne Fredrickson. I am so excited for the opportunity to go. It’s one more step in my personal development to be the best expression of myself. The wiser and more conscious I IMG_1035become the better coaching and support I can offer the women I am blessed to serve.

What I am discovering is that my life will be a process of continued self-discovery, revelations and releasing what no longer serves me. When I think I know it all, a cosmic 2X4 hits me on the head to wake me up. I will never have all the answers but the pursuit of finding them is absolutely delicious.

I can’t wait to share with all of you when I return what I learn from the Mindset Reatreat.

I will post some golden nuggets on Facebook while I am gone. Stop by personal page (facebook.com/malduane) or my Fanpage https://www.facebook.com/malduanecoach for a sneak peak.

Faithfully,

Mal

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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

 

Is beauty an illusion?

Is beauty an illusion? I love the description the IPhone dictionary has for illusion. It says it is an erroneous mental representation or the act of deluding.

Have you looked in any magazines lately of images of women appearing in ads or fashion layouts? Do they look authentic to you? And yet you are supposed to aspire to look like and use the products they promote. I don’t know about you but I just can’t buy into that crap.

There are a few brands that promote real women in their advertisements. The key word here is REAL.

Dove soap stood up and launched an amazing campaign about real beauty in real women. More magazine is one of the few publications that have real women in their editorials. Daily we are brainwashed by images that have been airbrushed and altered to sell things we really don’t need.

The skin care industry is a multi-billion dollar business. Why? They ignite our burning desire to want to look better (which is ok) by selling us products that re grossly overpriced and make miniscule improvements. I laugh when I think of my mother’s beauty regiment of Ivory soap and Pond cold cream. She never more face makeup, just some powder, rouge and lipstick. She had amazing skin all her life. Barely a wrinkle until she got into her eighties.

So how much is too much?

I know if I tried to purchase all the products recommended for a woman my age, I would need a second mortgage and an addition on my home. I take very good care of my skin, treating it from the inside out. I maintain a healthy diet, Good nutrients and vitamins B, C and D daily. I drink a ton of water, no carbonated beverages and no alcohol (in recovery). Of course I don’t smoke as well. I love Basis super-fatted soap, great for sensitive skin since I get broken capillaries very easily. I follow with Thayer’s Lemon Witch Hazel Astringent (it works as well as the very expensive toners). Then I apply Aveeno Daily moisturizer with SPF 30 and Bare Minerals makeup. At night I use a Vitamin C cream that I by on Vitacost.

So being completely transparent, I have tried some of those miracle creams with fancy French names. The experience was comparable to applying Crisco to my face but at 100 times the cost.

Bottom line, spending more doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to get better results. A lot of people tell me I have really healthy skin. So you be the judge.

Here I am bare faced…like it or not.

Would love to hear your comments below.

Faithfully,

Mal

 

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!


Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

 

Has love failed you?

I don’t know how many times in my own life I went to such levels of despair thinking that I was unloved or being rejected by someone I thought I loved. It was the fuel for my alcoholism for many years. I would think I am not loved so I will beat the crap out of myself. Sound familiar?

Love Does Not Fail For You When You Are Rejected or Betrayed or Apparently Not Loved. Love Fails For You When You Reject, Betray, and Do Not Love. . . . Therefore, The Most Direct Way To Know Love In every moment Is To Be Love In every moment. By Adida Samraj

When I first read this, it knocked me on my ass. I had to go back and reread it a few times before I could fully understand the enormous lesson in this statement.

I have written many times before that everything starts with us. I am not trying to sound like a broken record but the truth is we are responsible, we have the power to choose. Everything comes from within and most importantly love starts with us first.

You can’t give away what you don’t have!

So in order to attract love you must BE love. When you become emotionally reactive to another person, you attack or you judge. When you do this, you are shutting down the flow of love within you. But what if you stay open, maybe even be vulnerable-you stay in the energy of love. You are elevating the vibration of the emotional disagreement. How can someone not love you for that?

When you are rejected in a relationship it hurts. Retaliation doesn’t make you feel and better and it only keeps you in a state of “lovelessness”. When you withhold love, who are you really keeping it from? Instead feel the pain or sorrow from the ending of a relationship. Be clear on what you feel, acknowledge your feelings and transcend them.

Let go of the wounded ego, the small voice from within so that you can connect to your radiant love consciousness.

Love is your birthright-no one can take it away from you accept your wounded self!

 

Faithfully,

Mal

 

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!


Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

 

What I learned from spraying toilet bowl cleaner on my head

I am going to share with you this week the craziest and almost dangerous thing I did to myself because I was so self-absorbed and not paying attention to what I was doing. I was lucky but I have since heard stories of some real disasters from people who did the same thing when they were not paying attention.

There is a very powerful lesson from this simple mistake.

Live Faithfully,

Mal

 

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!


Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

 

Self-Esteem – How to Improve Your Self-Image

I have low self-esteem, but I express it the healthy way… by eating a box of Double-Stuff Oreos.

Miranda – as played by Cynthia Nixon on Sex and the City

Ok, I admit it; I am definitely a self-love junkie! The definition of a self-love junkie is someone who has traded hating and abusing themselves for loving and caring for themselves. A woman who shows up looking good and has put effort into her appearance, not for others, but to honor herself. This isn’t someone who is constantly taking SELFIEs. It’s a woman who isn’t afraid to spend time on herself and her wellbeing, knowing she deserves to feel and look good and that this can truly impact others in a positive way.

There is no pill, drug, book, man or woman that will do more for you than your own self-love. You don’t have to buy it, eat it or sleep with it. How cool is that?

Once I was able to discard all the masks from false perceptions that I had been wearing and discovered my inner divine self, my life transformed dramatically. You see, I firmly believe that low self-esteem and lack of self-love is the root of all evil for women as well as men.

It is those ongoing thoughts of fear that you are not good enough that keep you chained to old behaviors, abusive relationships and jobs you freaking hate. Why live your life as a hostage?

What if you did an about face? You wouldn’t have to chase love, it would show up and you would recognize it. Where did we learn to stay out of the way, to not shine or be noticed? It is a painful awakening to realize our destructive patterns are desperate attempts to fill in what should have been given, what we needed to develop properly, as self-loving women.

I want you to think about this for a minute. Anything in your life that is not living up to your expectations or is painfully challenging is because you don’t feel in your heart that you are worthy of having it. If you don’t feel that you deserve happiness what you attract will fulfill those exact thoughts of unworthiness. Energy is a magnet for what you want in life. When you send out negative energy you create a negative experience. You can even impact your health.

That is the missing key to The Secret! The Law of Attraction is so powerful. You can go around all day thinking I want this or that but if you feel deep within you that you are not worthy, the game of manifestation is over.

The good news is that your self-love and self-worth are your responsibility. Things may happen in your life that can put a ding in your armor but only you have the ability to fix it. Many of us go through life lacking self-worth because of old experiences or as a result of broken relationships that we’ve had. But these things do not define our worth as human beings. We need to know our self-worth is not a reflection of other’s opinions. Understanding this is the crux of creating new beliefs.

I am not trying to oversimplify your current unhappiness, fear or lack of wellness but you have more control over this than you think. It takes work. It takes commitment and discipline. But to create the life you desire, why not?

Once you become perfectly honest and open to seeing yourself with a loving heart, the negative emotional framework of self-condemnation disappears.

There are three things you can focus on daily to increase your feelings of self-love and worth.

  1. You are a divine being put on this earth with a purpose to fulfill (although maybe you haven’t discovered it yet).
  2. You have a divine birthright to be happy, joyful and passionate, knowing you are worthy.
  3. When you release the busyness of your mind and connect with the silence of your soul, you will discover your authentic self.

Remember that life’s challenges are stepping stones to your own success. By loving yourself and holding on to a belief of your self-worth you can dramatically change your life and the path you will travel.

*This article was previously published on MariaShriver.com.

Live Faithfully,

Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!


Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.