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Girls – Masks Are Strictly for Halloween

I love this time of year, driving around and seeing all the colorful leaves in the trees, pumpkins everywhere displayed with colorful mum plants. I am such an orange chick. This is my power color so I am in my glory. Cute decorations are in all the stores and costume stores have popped up everywhere.  I used to start planning early for an outrageous Halloween costume. A great deal of thought and accessorizing went into my costumes. It was one more way I could pretend to be something I wasn’t.

When I reflect on my previous crazy Halloween’s, I now realize that I have spent most of my life hiding behind a mask. It was easier for me to pretend to be someone else to fit in than be myself and be left behind. I would try to mold myself to another person’s expectations: try going white water rafting when it is freezing cold out, eating some God forsaken food just so I could be with that person. It went a lot deeper than that but I think you get my drift. I was doing things I couldn’t stand just to be accepted by someone else. It saddens me to think back how many times I didn’t honor myself just to keep a relationship going. I didn’t stand up for me or my beliefs but instead crumbled so I could be connected to another person. Does this sound familiar to you?

We stay in relationships that do not support us as divine women but instead strip away the layers of our integrity and self-respect. It is amazing what we will sacrifice for love and approval from another. Instead of enjoying real love, our hearts are torn open by the fear of being left.

How do we discover our truth and honor ourselves? Ask yourself these questions:

  1. Whose needs are being met in this current situation?
  2. Do you compromise or do you totally relinquish your desires?
  3. Are you constantly fearful you will lose the relationship?
  4. Do you feel the need to lie about what you want to keep the relationship?

The honest answers to these questions will be a huge eye opener to you as to whether you are in a loving and supportive relationship. You know you deserve better, so what is keeping you from getting it?

How long have you been hiding behind your mask so you could keep the current relationship you are in? The funny part of this is that men love women who love and honor themselves. So maybe it is time to take off the mask and let the real, divine beautiful you emerge and attract exactly what you want.

Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane 

Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over thirty Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on


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  • Linda Joy October 22, 2012, 12:15 pm

    Mal such a powerful message for all women and girls! Like you I too gave my power away and hid my light to ‘fit into’ relationships as do so many women. Each relationship added another layer of masks that further smothered my Divine light until the day i woke up in my early 30’s to realize that I had lost myself. That began my 20 year journey of removing the masks, doing the inner work to rediscover my truth and shine my light with the world. I love the message of empowerment you share to bring women back to the truth of who they are. It’s time all women remove their masks and illuminate the world with the authenticity.