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Gratitude in Recovery

Giving thanks to those who reached out to help us – when we didn’t know we needed it

I hope you all enjoyed the Thanksgiving holiday.  As I sat with family and counted all of the blessings in my life, I reflected on the fact that there were lots of people who tried (in vain) to get me to stop drinking before I decided to give it up for good.

I just didn’t listen.  It wasn’t that they were wrong or that their motives were anything other than wanting to help me…I just didn’t know I needed help.  

For me, it took going to the depths of despair, to the darkest possible pit emotionally before I realized that I had a problem and I needed help.

When we are in the throes of addiction we don’t notice the kindness of the person who moves that last drink out of our reach when we aren’t looking, or who listens to us cry about the guy who isn’t treating us nicely…for the MILLIONTH time.

If someone made a comment to us about our drinking, we got miffed and thought, they should worry about themselves! 

When we sober up, we realize the value of other people, of friendship.  It is a GIFT.  We can see that it took real courage to confront us with the truth and that they cared.  We realize that God may have been trying to get our attention through other people.

Unfortunately, if we don’t listen we will keep getting more and more “help”, but we might not like where it leads us!  In the AA program of recovery, untreated alcoholism has three outcomes:  jails, institutions or death.

Sometimes God puts these things into our lives because He can’t get our attention.

The good news is you can choose to get better TODAY.  You can make a decision RIGHT NOW that you are not going to live like this anymore.  It will be the beginning of healing the horrible emotional turmoil inside of you that the alcohol/drugs/relationships are just trying to soothe.  It is the first step in turning pain and suffering into a powerful, transformed life full of joy and peace.

Just ask God to be willing to be open to the possibility that you may need to change.  Nothing fancy, just say, God, do you think I need to stop drinking?  What should I do?  And He will answer you.  He may already be helping you by bringing you to this blog.

Most likely your circumstances will change.  We don’t need all of things we think we do.  Most of our problems can be reversed and or eliminated when we have self-honor.  You might have trouble with boundaries, with people abusing you and feel a bottomless sense of loneliness or abandonment.  You might think there is something wrong with you.  But there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.  You are divine greatness.

This is our focus – to learn self-honor.  To look within for everything we are looking for outside of ourselves.  Alpha Chicks don’t need meaningless relationships, fancy material items or dependency on substances.  We don’t need to run ourselves ragged trying to please parents, friends or siblings who don’t reflect back to us our value and with whom interaction leaves us feeling fearful, tired or angry.

In recovery, we can ask God to weed out the people and relationships that are not honoring us and to replace them with people who love and support us.

And if you are feeling absolutely gutted and can’t even imagine a better day or even entertain the possibility that your life will EVER get any better, I promise you, you CAN turn your life around.

Live faithfully,

Please download my FREE workbook at and get started on your recovery today.

Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over thirty Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on




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