Why do women base their self-worth on whether a man loves them or not?
Well, I have the answers for you. Being completely transparent, I must admit I was addicted to love. Or, should I say, the feeling of being loved by someone else. The only problem was, the men I picked didn’t love me back. Yes, I was one of those women that felt the only way I was complete and happy was to have a man paying attention to me.
I spent many years pursuing useless relationships that caused me more pain and self-loathing than love. I wore my heart on my sleeve, so that others could rip it off and walk over it. The men I attracted didn’t have any sincere interest in me but liked being seen with me. The harder I tried to make them like me, the bigger the rejection I would experience.
In other words, I was looking for love in all the WRONG places. I realize now this is a very common situation for women with low self-esteem. Read these words very slowly:
A man will never complete you
He can only enhance your life. Anything more is too much responsibility for one person. Your truest form of love starts within you. If you don’t love yourself, then you can forget about a man loving you. The harder you try, the faster they run. Bottom line, you need to have something in order to be able to give it away.
Here are 5 updated rules for romance:
- If you feel like you can’t live without him, you should.
- If you are doing all the work to make it happen, then you need to step back.
- Meditate daily on the fact that you deserve to be loved, starting with being loved by yourself.
- Keep your clothes on until you know what the other person’s intentions are.
- Be yourself, it’s easier to sustain being the real you than it is to be a weak imitation of someone else.
Loving relationships do not need to be so challenging. But if you continue to put the wrong vibrations out, you will keep attracting the wrong men. A real relationship is a mirror image of the one you have with yourself. Do the inner work so you can experience the outer joy of connecting with someone who truly appreciates and loves you.
Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.
Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.