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Self worth + Self care = Joy

self careThe deepest and most painful wounds come from self-condemnation. Yet, we keep doing it over and over to ourselves until the flesh is almost gone from our bones.

Some of us use a form of addiction as a band-aid to those wounds. But nothing ever really suffices; they just get deeper and more painful. All the alcohol or drugs that you can take only numb the pain temporarily. What is really needed is a shift in how you think about yourself.

Funny thing is, as simple as it seems, why do you struggle so much with thinking good things about yourself?

It all starts with childhood and the perceptions other people have. You‘re born with a clean slate, as a perfect little being and then you meet your parents. I am not saying that they are not loving or good but just that they have their own ideas which start to become your ideas.

How about little Johnny from next door that calls you a name or pushes you down in the yard? Holy crap, that one can last a lifetime and turn into some huge melodrama in your emotional development.

If you could look at this “stuff” that you collect along the way as not an accurate representation to who you are but just other’s perceptions, your life could change dramatically.

Very early in life we realize we are separate beings from our mothers and we can choose what we want. Follow a three year old around for an hour, you will hear “mine, mine, mine”. We just need to do the same thing with our thoughts.

No one can love you better than you. You know yourself and your deepest desires. You know the truth about you. You know the good and the bad. The relationship you have with yourself will be the most important one in your life. Make it a loving, respectful and nurturing one.

Self love starts with good self care. Eating healthy and honoring your body. Think of it as a temple for the magnificent soul within you. If you think of yourself this way, it is easier to stop many of your bad habits.

Look in the mirror daily and embrace your magnificence. Don’t compare yourself to false images from magazines or TV. Those models are not real representations of women today. They are touched up replicas or altered images.

Treat yourself to something nice every week. Maybe a movie or a manicure? If you don’t treat yourself nicely do you think anyone else will?

Please feel free to share some of the ways you love yourself. The best reply will win a personally autographed copy of Alpha Chick and a free Discovery Session.

Live Faithfully,

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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on

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