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The Happiness Secret

The Happiness SecretProbably more than anything else in life, we all strive to be happy. Sadly, for various reasons, happiness eludes many of us. Some reasons are self-imposed and others we attribute to other people. The trouble is, when we feel other people are responsible for our happiness we are giving away control over our own lives.

Wake up call: Your happiness is your responsibility

Until I learned this lesson personally, I never really experienced authentic happiness. I lived my life thinking that the right dress, man, car or job would bring me happiness.

Over the 4th of July holiday, I was watching my grandchildren playing when it really hit me:

We are the creators of our own happiness.

Their endless imagination, to my amazement, kept them engaged all weekend in blissful recreation. There wasn’t a moment of boredom or any sense of lacking something. Each one of them had significant roles in the games they created.

My two granddaughters went from being ballerinas to princesses and my grandson, Remy, was dancing with them and had a cardboard tube as a sword. Their shrieks of pure joy touched my heart.

The only time there were tears was if one of them fell down or took the others toy. Their happiness sparked something in me. I remembered how happy I was when I was five years old. I would sail in my boat with my dog all day, or go into the woods and collect things that I thought were treasures. What if we kept that sense of wonderment throughout our lives?

The truth is, it never really leaves us, it just gets clouded over with crap. What if we freed ourselves from the fear of what other people think and just lived with the intent of being happy!

Happiness is not about having more but is about being more. Being the real you, the one that felt she was a princess and could dance like a ballerina. The girl that didn’t see any limitations but only possibilities in the simplest of things. She is still there, hiding within, just waiting to break out and reclaim her royalty in her kingdom.

The lesson here is to reconnect with the mindset of full appreciation of what is. To experience a joyful heart that is not covered over with grievances. To play, and not care who is watching. And if they are, then give them one hell of a performance!

Here is a great playlist from Anna Luther that will absolutely increase your happiness.

Gotta go – Grandma is on her way out to play in her kingdom.

Live Faithfully, Mal

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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on


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